Why must everyone ask? The answer to the big question.

So this is my 3am rambling so it maybe long and rambled.

Why must every one ask me when I am having another child. This question PISSES me off. If it was just well meaning family or friends I would probably just brush it off as caring curiosity and slightly annoying, but it is more than just family and friends. It is them asking every time they see my and it is people I barely know or don't know at all. I know everyone is just curious but it rubs me the wrong way. So this post is to answer all your questions.


First off I know that I am not the only woman who gets bugged by these questions. From talking to other ladies I know that I am not alone. And even though this is not my case there are tons of couples out there struggling with infertility and this question just rubs salt in the wound.
Here are some better ways to phrase it because even I want to know about other people.
If the couple has no children word it something like this. "So are you guys wanting to have children in the future?" this way you are not making it sound like they should be having children right now. Not everyone wants 2o kids 9 months apart. Not everyone wants kids, some just want one. Some might not be able to have kids or any more kids. These things are usually not public knowledge.

If the couple has one or more children and you want to know if they are having more phrase it something like this, "How many children do you want to have?" Maybe they have all they want.

My thing is it is not like Italia is 15 years old or something, she is only 3. What is wrong with having children 5 years apart? Or more?

So here is my answer and I am even going to explain said answer with out going into way to much personal details.

Maybe, Someday.

I am not opposed to having more than one child I just don't know my plans right now other than its not going to happen tomorrow.

Just so everyone knows I am a stubborn person and the more you ask it will not make me do it any faster if anything I might wait longer.

I also hate it when people ask if we are trying. Do you know what "trying"means yep that is like asking if we are having sex and I would rather not everyone know how many times that happens:)

Here are some of my reasons even if it is nobodies business:) (I am not doing this to be mean or single anyone out but hundreds of people ask me, and I get asked on a daily basis so I figure there is interest. Maybe I won't get asked as much)
1. I love Italia so much I can't imagine loving anyone else as much.

2. I kind of like just having one and giving her all the attention and time I can, not as much as she wants since I still have to shower and do dishes occasionally.

3. The timing just isn't right.

4. Italia is not very found of babies, it is getting better since she has gotten to hold a few real ones lately.

5. I don't really want to have Italia helping me the way she takes care of her dolls, by throwing them down the stairs or running them over with her car.

6. I am afraid I would neglect Italia or vice verse.

On to the more serious ones

7. I know not every pregnancy/delivery/postpartum period is the same with every child but I don't think I am ready for that.

8. Pregnancy wasn't to bad, it was actually kind of fun, I just had your normal stuff some morning sickness, lots of heartburn, And I puffed up like Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloons. Delivery left lots to be desired. I had lots of complications during postpartum.

9. My complications ranged from Physical to mental, emotional, and spiritual. I don't like to talk about it much even though it is getting easier now that it is not so fresh. My family never said they noticed something was wrong and I am sure if they noticed something they probably just thought I wasn't quite normal and possibly blamed it on lack of sleep most new parents get. However, lack of sleep was the least of my concerns.

10. I am afraid I might not make through again. By "make it" I don't mean I might need to hire a cook, housekeeper, babysitter to have degree of normalcy. I mean that I have valid real reason to believe I might DIE. I don't know about you but I am not ready to die and death is something most people don't have much control over.

All that being said. I am not opposed to another or more than that. I will stop before I stop being the kind of mom I want to be though. And even though now is not the time and yes I could change tomorrow but probably not I am doing what I can to make things easier and prepared. I am trying to exercise, be more active, eat better because the healthier I am the easier it will be. I am trying to read up on different delivery options. For one birth fascinates me two I know I will not have another epidural because I would rather deal with the 24+ hrs of contractions and pushing then with the 8+ months of disabling back pain I had.

So I will let you all know when we decide to have another baby (if we do) by posting pics of such baby until then...
And that will happen when I feel ready which I don't now or when Heavenly Father puts a strong desire in my heart to have one any way. But I believe he knows me and my heart and will give me time.

I am going to wait until morning to proof read this to make sure I at least wrote it in English:)